


It's a free play buddy. Clock's all zeroes.

by Ppprincen



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom
Genre: Canon complicit disregard of physics, Gen, Post-Game(s), fuck you its spelled benry, that will be elaborated on, they definitely robbed some banks but it’s not necessarily how the acab stream went down, time isn’t real its 1989 with 2020 tech
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:55:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24959503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ppprincen/pseuds/Ppprincen
Summary: The AI's knew it was a game. Gordon only finds out after its over.(or, the science team plays poker while Gordon has a panic attack.)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	It's a free play buddy. Clock's all zeroes.

You know when logically you understand something, but you don’t fully process what that entails until later? Gordon isn’t sure if there’s a word for that late realization, but it’s something he’s been experiencing practically nonstop since they left black Mesa.

Maybe it’s trauma, maybe it’s Maybelline, but Gordon quickly lost count of the amount of times he’d started to do various habits he picked up in Black Mesa, before remembering him being outside the facility meant he no longer had to do those various things. Everything from routinely inspecting his gun hand for flaws, (the hand he no longer had, the one he couldn’t inspect even if he wanted to, the one that had somehow been replaced with his normal arm and a small but distinct scar circling his wrist), to pushing his desk in front of his bedroom door before sleeping, to rationing his meals.

It wasn’t that he thought he was still in Black Mesa, or that he feared for his life, he honestly just kept forgetting he didn’t need to do those things anymore. Sure, he probably needed therapy, but he couldn’t exactly explain to anyone outside of the science team what he’d been through without fear of being put in a mental hospital.

He didn’t even think that the rest of the science team were impacted in similar ways. Dr. Coomer and Bubby had each other and while they each had their own moments of disturbance; they were pretty good at calming each other down.

(Gordon could still remember Dr. Coomer’s declaration that there was a world inside his mind he needed to get to. Gordon never questioned it; he didn’t want to think about what that implied. And while Bubby always guarded his emotions, he wasn’t hard to tell his demands to get him out of his tube weren’t out of a desire to fight more aliens.)

Tommy had a therapy dog that he genetically designed to be perfect, as well as the rest of the science team, so Tommy wasn’t lacking in emotional resources.

Benry was… Benry was an unusual thing, as always. He appeared randomly while the science team was robbing a bank, and just joined in no questions asked. He hadn’t left since then, couch hopping between the science teams house and the warehouse they’d broken into to store their various loot.

The heist he joined them during had gone relatively smooth, most likely because they town they were in had been evacuated because, according to the news and government cover ups, the nearby nuclear testing facility randomly caught fire and blew up, and said the ‘fires’ might spread to the nearby town. It was a lame excuse to cover up the literal aliens escaping Black Mesa and wandering the desert, but somehow the people of the town bought and mostly evacuated.

It left the town mostly abandoned, spare the science team and minimum wage workers that couldn’t afford to leave. Actually, now that Gordon thought about it, the nearly empty streets and lack of human interaction outside of the science team and the cashier at the 7-11 was probably contributing to Gordon’s continuing habits.

That poor 7-11 worker. He was the first human Gordon saw after leaving Chuck E Cheese and he outright cried at seeing a normal non-murderous person. Well, he probably _wanted_ to kill Gordon for tracking blood into his store at 3 am, but he _didn’t_ and that’s what counted.

That didn’t matter right now, what _did_ matter was winning the second ever Weekly Science Team Game Night.

Tommy brought up the idea originally, right after Dr. Coomer realized they couldn’t keep robbing banks forever and suggesting “a friendly underground boxing ring.” _That_ idea was shot down by Gordon who didn’t want any broken bones – it was a miracle he didn’t snap any in Black Mesa – and letting Tommy choose the replacements. Today Gordon was going to try his best to get back his lost earnings from last week.

Benry was staring at Gordon, who was trying desperately to ignore him. It had been a few minutes now, distracting him from the game of poker they were in the middle of. It was decidedly _not_ strip poker, no matter how many times Benry said it was. Gordon was also trying to ignore the growing pile of helmets next to Benry, who was taking one off and tossing it onto the pile to reveal another helmet underneath every time he lost.

“Is there something on my face?” Gordon finally asked Tommy.

“Nope!”

Gordon groaned. “Why. Just why is Benrey staring at me then.”

“I uh- think it’s rude to ask me instead of him! He’s right there!” Tommy said, insistently. Gordon was trying to be nicer to Benry now that they weren’t fighting for their lives, but it was hard not to after remembering all he’d done.

“Right. Sorry Benrey. Why are you staring at me?”

Benry startled, as if he was surprised he was caught, despite Gordon talking about him less than 5 seconds ago. “Oh uh. Your eyes look stupid. Wish I could’ve seen them sooner so I could insult them earlier.”

 _What?_ “What?” Gordon asked, echoing his thoughts.

“Said your eyes are stupid.” He repeated.

“No, I- I heard that part. I’m asking about seeing them sooner. Were my glasses that dirty during Black Mesa?”

Dr. Coomer laughed at that, loud and drawing attention to him. “Don’t be ridiculous Gordon, you didn’t have glasses during Black Mesa!”

That makes Gordon’s brain practically buffer, but he goes with it anyways. Wasn’t the first debate they’d had on how things had gone down. They’d been out a month and Gordon lost count of how many similar arguments they’d had. “Yes, I did, I wouldn’t have been able to see _anything_ without them. My eyesight is shit; I wouldn’t have been able to shoot.”

“Dr. Coomer, Gordon may be right! We just wouldn’t have known!” Tommy says.

“Hm, I suppose you’re right Tommy!” Dr. Coomer responds, laying his hand out, revealing four jokers and an ace of hearts. “Full house!”

“I don’t think this is how poker works…” Gordon mutters, pushing his betting’s inwards at his loss. He ignores Benry tossing another helmet off. “Wait, how would you guys not have known? Were you just… not paying attention to my face? I mean… there were definitely more important things going on, but I figured you guys would at least know if I had my glasses or not.”

Benry tosses off a second helmet, just to annoy Gordon and eventually force him to acknowledge the pile. “Bro I didn’t even know you _had_ eyes. Don’t blame me for not knowing you had them and that they’re shitty low res.”

Gordon looks at Benry and _does not_ look at the pile. “… why wouldn’t I have eyes???”

Benry shrugged. “I dunno man. I’ve met aliens without eyes. Just didn’t say anything ‘cause it’s rude.”

 _Breath in, breath out._ Gordon reminded himself. “Okay. You’ve… met aliens. That doesn’t surprise me. Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Bubby doesn’t have eyes!” Dr. Coomer said, pointing to him.

“He’s right! My glasses are HD cameras wired into my head!” Bubby said, ever proud of everything nonhuman about him.

“That’s great Bubby- But _I’m_ human, I have no reason to not have eyes.” Gordon says while waiting for the next round to start.

“Listen man-” Benry starts, Gordon already internally groaning. “I don’t know about the others, but _I_ thought you didn’t have eyes ‘cause you had that shitty sleep mask thing on the whole time, and you saw fine. Didn’t know you like… did the whole place blind.”

Gordon doesn’t respond, just squints suspiciously as he tries to work out what that meant. He pushes forward a few (stolen) casino chips and waits for Sunkist to finish distributing the next cards. “…sleep mask.”

“Mh-hm” Benry said, glancing at the hand Sunkist pushes towards him.

“What the _FUCK_ are you talking about.” Gordon doesn’t even look at his cards, he needs to know where this is going.

Benry holds up one figure, standing up and disappearing.

To his side he sees Tommy push in a higher bet, and Dr. Coomer and Bubby meeting it. Gordon looks at his cards. A four of spades and a king of hearts. He could do this. He meets Tommy’s bet.

Benry appears back in his seat with no fanfare and tosses something at Gordon. “Catch.”

“Wha- SHIT.” Gordon only barely catches it before it hits the floor, lunging out of his chair on instinct to get it. “You can’t throw me things with no warning!” He shouts, climbing back into his chair and looking at the object.

His blood runs cold. It’s a VR headset, his brain supplies, but a second after that he realizes he should have no idea what it is. VR tech like this wasn’t a _thing_ yet, only talked about in higher government facilities for the sake of military training. Sure, Black Mesa could probably have made something close to VR, but it wouldn’t be this small, and it defiantly wouldn’t have been available to a minor scientist like Gordon.

“Where the hell did you get this?” Gordon manages to ask, surprised the rest of the science team isn’t as freaked out as he as at this.

“You left it in the Chuck-E-Cheese parking lot. It fell off the moment you left. You seriously didn’t notice?” Benry says, scoffing. “Weak.”

This is a prank, right? Surely it must be. “What, and no one picked it up since then? We haven’t been there for a month, don’t try and prank me with shitty stuff like this.” Gordon says, placing it on the table next to his cards. He tries his best to focus back on the game, watching but not registering the three cards Sunkist nudges upright.

“Of course, no one touched it Gordon! We’re all programmed not to acknowledge it!” Dr. Coomer says, “Although I must admit that might have worn off now that it’s off and Benry could touch it- but worry not Gordon, the tech is not lost!”

Gordon isn’t worried about it being lost- he’s worried how the fuck he apparently had it on throughout the entirety of Black Mesa without noticing. Not only that- but Dr. Coomer’s referencing to ‘being coded’ freaked out Gordon too. The idea that none of this was real- it was a long running prank Benry started during Black Mesa that the rest of the science team latched on top once they got out. It was a prank. Why did it freak him out so much? “Did I seriously wear this thing the whole time without noticing?”

Gordon didn’t see Tommy behind him gesturing at the science team to _cut it out_. The others did, however, and blatantly ignored him.

“Believe it or not but we’re not lying to you.” Bubby said.

“Dr. Coomer?”

“I can confirm you had that on before the test up until leaving the Chuck’ed Cheese!”

Gordon was starting to believe them. He believed Coomer at least. “Okay but _how_ did someone get this on me without me noticing? And _why_ anyways?”

This time he didn’t miss the glances the group gave each other.

“What was that. What the _fuck_ was that.”

“Huh.”

“Don’t you _fucking_ try and hide it from me, I saw that. What aren’t you telling me.”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Benry said, very slowly sliding off his chair into the helmet pile. “That you stink.”

Gordon could practically feel the veins pumping. “That was not what that was about- you wouldn’t fucking hesitate to bully me about it if I was. Tell me the truth. What about this helmet do you know?”

No one said anything besides those glances. Sunkist, having realized the game was abandoned, hopped off his lower chair to nuzzle his head in Tommy’s lab.

“Tommy.” Gordon said, following Sunkist with his eyes and finally realizing he hadn’t said anything.

“Yes?”

“What do you know about this helmet.”

“Oh- it’s a headset actually!”

He sighed, trying his best not to scream. “I know that Tommy. I mean what do you know about why _I_ was wearing it.”

Tommy mumbled something, tangling his hands in Sunkist’s fur.

“What was that?”

“It’s because you’re the protagonist.”

Gordon gave up holding back, slamming his hands on the table and standing up. “GOD- _DAMN_ IT. THERE YOU GO AGAIN- TALKING ABOUT SHIT LIKE CODE AND PROTAGONISTS- _WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!_ ”

Everyone recoiled at that in surprise. Except Benry, who was now half buried in the helmet pile.

“Gordon,” Dr. Coomer started, doing his best to sound calming. “I think it would be best for you to sit and calm down now.”

Gordon whirled around, pointing at him angrily. “I don’t WANT to calm down. I want answers. You guys have been talking about that shit the whole time and now you _still_ won’t let it up?” He laughed. “If this is some long running prank it’s a really shitty one.” Gordon finally acknowledged the helmet pile. “Clean that shit up.”

“Alright.” Benry said, picking up a helmet and putting it on his head, somehow fitting perfectly over the helmet already previously on his head. When the one underneath fully disappeared and the helmet on top snuggly fit his head, he picked up another helmet and repeated the process.

Bubby leaned over towards Tommy as subtly as he could, _“The fuck is this? I thought he knew?”_

Dr. Coomer stood and approached Gordon, holding his hands out to try and calm him. “Gordon I was asking you to sit and calm because this discovery is rather… jarring I’m afraid. We don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“What. Fucking. Discovery.” He hissed out, refusing to sit.

Dr. Coomer looked apprehensive, but that didn’t stop him from saying it. “Well… It’s exactly what we’ve been saying. None of this is real, Gordon. We’re in a video game.”

Gordon paled, freezing up.

He continued. “Or- at least we _were._ ” He laughed, as if what he was saying was terrifying. “I’m not sure how any of us are alive!”

“ _Hhhhhhhh_ ” Gordon says, sitting down. Sunkist is quick to leave Tommy’s lap and approach him, burrowing his head into Gordon’s lap. Unconsciously he starts petting her, mind spinning as he tried to process all the implications of that. Gordon sits for a moment. Repeating Coomer and Tommy’s words. He’s the protagonist. That meant he was being _controlled_ the entirety of Black Mesa. And now, what, it was over? The headset came off, did that mean the player was gone? How did they know for sure? What’s to prevent them from coming back? Shit- he couldn’t follow this line of thought- he was going to have a panic attack. He needed something to distract him, Sunkist wasn’t enough. “…How long?” He finally asked, the first question that came to him.

“Since before the test.”

“I meant how long have you known.”

“Oh.” Dr. Coomer says, a lot softer. “Well- I can’t speak for the others, but for me it was when I tried to jump the mountain range. You remember, don’t you?”

Gordon nods. He remembered his quick return and unsettling declaration of ‘ _There’s nothing there._ ’

“That’s what I was referencing when me and my clones… attacked you. I doubt I need to explain that, but Gordon I _cannot_ apologize enough for my actions during that time.”

Gordon didn’t process the second half of that statement, nodding his head at Dr. Coomer’s concerned face. “Bubby, Tommy, Benrey, when did you know?”

“I believe me and- and Bubby both found out when it ended. At my party.” Tommy said, Bubby nodding next to him.

Benry, who had spent the last few minutes putting additional helmets on top of his preexisting one, climbed back into his chair. “Knew the whole-time bro. I’m like… a glitch or something. Not supposed to be in the final product.”

Gordon shot up, gears turning. “wait wait wait- that whole rant about how you didn’t want to be bad, but I forced you to be, was that about the code?”

Benry waved his hand. “Sorta. I killed the boss you were supposed to, so the code had to find something else. I was what you hated the most. So, you made me be bad.”

Shit, now Gordon felt bad. He ran that thought his head, thinking about how… he really _wasn’t_ nice to Benry during their time trapped. He thought his actions had all been to piss him off, but now that they were out and could spend time together without worrying about death, he found out that’s just how Benry acted. None of it was to annoy him. Gordon turned him into the final boss because of what, he was annoyed? “Wait.” Gordon said, mentally rewinding to the start of his sentence. “You killed the final boss?” He asked in disbelief.

“Yep.”

“Wh- How?”

Benry shrugged. “Got bored. It was weak anyways- I just, you know, sang at it until it exploded. Figured it would help you guys get out. Didn’t know the code had a backup maker then.”

“Holy _shit_ Benrey. I didn’t think you were that strong. How the hell did we take you down?” He paused, and then softly said, “Wait, you were trying to help us?”

Benry rolls his eyes. “Stop that.” He says, changing the topic and effectively derailing Gordon’s train of thought.

“… Stop what?”

“Spelling my name like that. It’s B-E-N-R-Y. Benry. You’re spelling it with an extra E.”

Gordon laughs. “This is a verbal conversation how do you know how I’m spelling it???”

“I’m looking at the captions, duh.”

Gordon turned to Dr. Coomer and gestured hopelessly. “Do you have any idea what he’s talking about?”

“Of course, Gordon! He’s talking about the captions, which can be turned on through the settings menu! Captions are particularly helpful for players that are hard of hearing, or have audio processing issues, or-”

And there goes Gordons calm mind. His face drops the second Coomer mentions the settings menu, what they had been taking about mere minutes ago rushing back. He rubbed his face, “Fuck. Right. At least I got it out of my head for a decent second.”

“My apologies Gordon.” Coomer said, honestly sorry he brought it up so fast.

“… You know this really explains a lot of things. Playcoins, how we could respawn, the way you guys just, cite Wikipedia like it was in your head.” Gordon listed off. “Actually, no wait, why the fuck would anyone program that in? That seems like shitty game design.”

Bubby cackled. “Finally, you can criticize the developers with us!”

Gordon laughed. “Yeah I guess I can. Hey- is that why I keep doing things I did in Black Mesa? Like blocking my bedroom door and stuff? Because of my code?

Coomer looked concerned at that. “I belive that’s called trauma, Gordon.”

Ah. Of course. He’d been trying to avoid assuming it was that. “Right. Course.” He looked at the table, abandoned cards sprayed out. “… I think I’m… more or less good for now. Are we going to continue?”

“Are you sure Mr. Freeman? We can end it early if you want!” Tommy said, patting his lap to call Sunkist back to him.

“ _Fuck_ no.” Gordon said, frowning, “The last thing I want to do right now is go home.” Quickly he realized that, even if he didn’t go home now, he’d have to go eventually. But… after that life changing realization, the last thing he wanted was being alone in his shitty apartment. Now that he didn’t have a job and most of his neighbors evacuated, the only times he left the house were for these meetings and groceries. “Shit.” He said softly at that minor realization. “Actually, Tommy… I don’t really wanna go home tonight. Would it be too much to crash at your house?”

Tommy lit up, Sunkist perking up too. “That would be fine! Oh but, It’s Benry’s night to stay with me, are you okay with that?”

Gordon glanced at Benry. Fuck he… really was trying his best, wasn’t he? Killing the Boss to try and help them get out easier. Briefly distracting Gordon from his panic attack. Gordon had a lot to apologize for. “…Yeah that’s okay. In the meantime, can we finish this? I never got back what I lost from Bubby last week.”

Benry looked surprised at his acceptance, but quickly went back to his uncaring look. “Yeah, alright. Let’s finish this game so I can take more money from Gordos.”

Sunkist hopped back up on the stool, resuming the game from where it had been abandoned. Gordon had a lot to deal with after tonight, but he could take it slow for now. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I taught myself poker off of wiki-how while writing this, so sorry if those parts aren't how you really play poker.  
> ALSO- this is entirely a personal preference, but i'd love it if you told me which parts/ lines were your fav! I tried to keep this a good mix of humor and serious as gordon finds out and idk how good a job i did. My only beta is Microsoft word so im welcome to criticisms and being told if u find errors.


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